The things you find in beer cellars

I wish I was a tidy person. I do so envy those people who are naturally organized and neat. My personal philosophy on keeping things in order revolves around convincing myself that I know where things are and that I will sort things out later, when I have time. Having been honest in declaring that I am possibly the untidiest human on the planet, you may feel it is more than a little ironic for me to write about the importance of keeping beer cellars tidy. Never the less, in the spirit of that old saying “don’t do what I do, do what I say” I will now give you all a penny lecture on why your beer cellar should be a haven of cleanliness and organization.

In my career as a dispense engineer I have once or twice contemplated joining the National Union of Mine Workers, reasoning that I have probably spent more time underground than your average miner. So my knowledge of beer cellars and what lurks within them is quite extensive.

Too often the cellar becomes a dumping ground for everything. The results can be a nightmare. The clutter process usually begins when it is decided that the best place for the icemaker, chest freezer, fridge and post-mix machine would be in the cellar. Fine you may think out of the way and handy. Think again. Most beer cellars are refrigerated in order to keep the beers, both keg and cask in a controlled environment, to prolong shelf life and keep beers in condition.

The cellar cooling costs you money to run in terms of electricity and is an expensive and vital part of the beer system. So what you are doing in placing these machines within the cellar is rather like running an electric heater to counter the affect of the cellar cooling. It doesn’t make sense. However I appreciate sometimes you have no choice when space is at a premium. All that I am saying is that in a perfect world keep anything that creates heat out of the cellar if at all avoidable.

One day calling to repair a faulty gas pump, I found myself having to clamber over not just the usual casks and kegs, but a rather lovely Ducati motorbike. I love motor bikes so was completely happy to fix the gas pump and then spend ten minutes looking over this lovely bike. The smell of petrol, lingered with the odour of beer. Some might say a perfect match.  Being serious, the Ducati was extreme, but having anything in your cellar that contaminates the air with fumes, not just petrol, but even food can cause you major problems and affect you beer quality. Storing food, from onions to cooked meats, should be avoided. I know the cellar is nice and cold but you are running the risk of introducing bacteria and odours into your beers.

The question of filtering back cask beer is another area, which can present concerns if you want to keep things spick and span in the cellar. The practice of filtering back is discouraged by many brewers and is something I agree with. That aside if you do filter back don’t leave buckets of beer laying about the cellar. There is nothing worse than the smell of sour beer, which has been forgotten about. If you cannot filter back quickly then get rid of it. Inndoctor constantly bangs on about hygiene and with good reason. Keeping your cellar tidy and clean is a must if you want to sell consistently good quality beer.

If you treat your cellar with the respect it deserves your daily routines of beer line cleaning, stock rotation and general cellar husbandry will be a lot easier and dare I say enjoyable.

There are other issues concerning tidiness in the cellar I haven’t touched on, but I think I can hear the groans from here, so I will end the lecture and get back to my paid work. Now if I could just find my car keys, I know they are here somewhere……….