Two pints Please!

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Is it just me or does anybody else have this problem. You know the scenario, there you are Friday night, dying for your first pint, three deep at the bar, with bar staff who seem oblivious to any customer other than their regular cronies. You gently shove your way nearer to the counter doing that wave, you know, with your arm raised high, cash in hand, phoney smile trying to disguise the fermenting hatred you feel towards that little creep of a barman who sees you but pretends not to. He teases you, glancing your way momentarily and then as you shout your order for two pints of best he turns away. You try a different tack, you stalk the fat guy who has just been served and is getting his change. Now is your chance, this is it “Two pints of best” you yell!

What happens next? Whilst you where shouting so was the woman with the big hair do. Like a Mexican stand-off you both look into each other’s eyes, hoping the other will give way“Who is next shouts the creep of a barman?” “I am!” you both shout.

In that moment you wish you had a large baseball bat so as to gently caress the sweet head of that stupid barman. Instead, you’re a gentleman after all, you allow the hair do woman to be served before you.

Right this is it. You have established without any doubt you are next. Your pulse is racing you look from side to side daring even wanting some person to try and push in. “What you having squire?”

We are trying to be slightly humorous here but there is a serious point to be made. Bar staff need to be trained properly in dealing with queuing customers. We British are generally a polite race who fully understand the protocols of queuing, be it at the bus stop or the butchers. We are fair and like to be treated fairly. In some bars due to the sheer volume of customers it is impossible to have an entirely perfect queue but never the less it is very important that staff try and manage people waiting to be served thus, alleviating frustration and irritation to waiting customers.

As well as serving, bar staff should manage waiting customers. A simple smile of acknowledgement that you are there, telling people that they will be served next; creating a feeling of control and not anarchy will certainly make customers less stressed.
So please, a message to all bar staff, “can I have two “xxxxxxg”pints please!!”

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