From time to time there are things I find,while mucking out,that make me laugh out loud.This generally attracts the attention of the Gaffer who is inquisitive enough to take an interest.
We have the Phantom Bog Roll Hoarder,the one who assembles every lavatory roll they can find in the ladies into one cubicle thus leaving the other box bereft of essentials.I tend to find this first thing in the morning so I have no idea what time of day this was perpetrated and therefore how long the potential users have been missing out on the facility provided.Also known to make use of the unavoidably but conveniently placed loft hatch for said purpose.I found 17 bog rolls up there when I first discovered this phenomenon.
Then there is the Phantom Plumber.Once again this is the sole preserve of the Ladies.Of a morning I am asked regularly to address a non flushing Sit Down.The usual finding is that the flush cable is no longer connected to the presstit.This involves lifting the cistern lid and the disconnected bit still doesn’t fall off of its own accord despite the years of use and abuse.
The one that made me laugh then and still now is the Phantom Sign Switcher.The one who spent the best part of ten minutes outside the bogs of a busy boozer on a Saturday evening exchanging the signs on the doors of the Ladies and Gents.No one saw it happen and it was only noticed the following morning.The reason I know that it takes ten minutes is that we had a redecorate recently and it took me that long to put them back onto the doors with the aid of a cordless screwdriver.
The next wheeze had better be good.